Losing Kei by Suzanne Kamata

How do you choose between your child and freedom from an overbearing mother-in-law and a husband who's not what you'd expected? In a country where foreigners have no custody rights following a divorce, how do you get your child back? Suzanne Kamata raises these questions in Losing Kei, as Jill Parker comes to terms with the consequences of her decision.

Jill has dreams of becoming a wildlife photographer and opening an art gallery in Africa, but a failed relationship prompts her to reconsider and leave the States for Japan instead. She tells everyone she wants to be another Blondelle Malone, a female painter from her hometown in South Carolina. In Japan, Jill doesn't know anyone, but she quickly makes friends with another American, Eric, a surfer she meets on the beach. Eric helps her get a job as a hostess at the Cha Cha Club working for Mama Morita, who expects Jill and the other girls to entertain the male patrons and ensure a steady flow of drink.

Mama Morita hires Jill to paint a mural in the club, beginning her art career in Japan, and she eventually meets Yusuke Yamashiro at a gallery opening. They marry, and Jill moves in with his family. There the pressures of learning to be the traditional Japanese wife and following a new set of customs become stifling. Jill endures her mother-in-law's lessons, but once she gives birth to Kei, her life becomes unbearable. She isn't happy, she can't live up to her new family's expectations, and she decides divorce is the only answer.

The narrative switches from the late 1980s--from her relationship with her first love, Philip, through her marriage to Yusuke--to the late 1990s after their divorce. When the book opens, Jill already has lost Kei, and her lawyer has told her that divorces are not appealed and that she and her son will be separated for good. Kamata does an excellent job moving back and forth, revealing Jill's past in bits and pieces peppered with the pain of a mother not able to hold her child or even sit in the same room with him.

Jill is an interesting, flawed character. As a mom, I find it hard to believe that someone would make a choice that causes them to lose their child--especially when they are so in love with the child. There may be many women willing to endure a difficult marriage for the sake of the children, but Kamata shows that Jill's choices were equally painful, and she was sacrificing herself either way.

Jill's story instantly drew me in, but I also enjoyed Losing Kei because Kamata does a wonderful job showing what it's like for an outsider to try to fit into a culture completely different from their own. And the fact that Kamata herself is an American living in Japan lends a great deal of authenticity to the story.

Losing Kei also was reviewed by:

Booking Mama
Reading Room

**After I finished Losing Kei, I wanted to know more about the story and the woman who wrote it. I had the pleasure of interviewing Suzanne Kamata, so if you'd like to know more about her experiences, Japanese custody laws, and other interesting tidbits, please come back to Diary of an Eccentric tomorrow. I'll also tell you how you can win a signed copy of Losing Kei!**

Disclosure:  I borrowed Losing Kei from the library.